What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why do people hate on Serena (anime character)? What did she ever do to anyone except be a good friend to Ash Ketchum and an awesome trainer herself?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

If sea levels were rising, wouldn't the acreage of coastal salt marshes increase? Are they?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

True - how I loved my mum!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What are some of your shocking stories?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!